10 Ways to Get Through a Rough Patch in a Relationship

All relationships go through a rough patch at
some point. But that doesn’t mean you should
give up! Here are some ways to help you get
through them. By Lianne Choo
Not many couples survive through rough patches
especially if it’s not their first time dealing with
certain issues. There is only so much bending that
a relationship can take before it snaps like a dried
up old twig.
During an interview for the May 2013 issue of
Glamour UK magazine, Hollywood royalty Gwyneth
Paltrow said, “When two people throw in the towel
at the same time, then you break up, but if one
person’s saying: ‘Come on, we can do this,’ you
carry on.”
A reason why relationships tend to fail is because
both parties give up at the same time. Even if just
one person keeps up the fight, there is a high
chance that things will work out in the end. I
suppose both Paltrow and ex Chris Martin chose
to give up at the same time, as Paltrow is now
newly single.
Even so, her quote applies to everyone out there
currently in a relationship. Whether it is dealing
with infidelity, money troubles, career drama or a
clash of personalities between you and your loved
one, there is always a way to survive a rough
patch. The only thing to consider is whether both
sides want to fight for it.
How to get through obstacles in a relationship
No relationship is perfect. If anyone ever says that
it is, then you know for a fact that they have no
idea what they are talking about. Being someone’s
special person takes hard work, effort and
sacrifice. Whether it is giving up your time, money,
goals or sanity, being in love is a lot more
demanding than it is easy. Regardless of all of that,
there is no denying that it is all worth it. Here are
10 ways on how you and your partner can get
through a rough patch.
#1 Find perspective. Figure out why you are in a
relationship with this person at all. Most people
will say it is because they want companionship, to
start a family, stability, love and other emotional
factors. When you can focus on why you and your
partner have agreed to become an ‘us,’ you put
things into perspective and make it simpler to get
through a rough patch as you now know why you
are doing it.
#2 Regularly check your relationship’s vital signs.
You have to conduct regular maintenance on your
relationship whether you want to or not. Like the
human body, a relationship is made up of many
working parts and in order for it to function well,
you have to make sure that every part is at its
optimum level.
Pay attention to increased impatience, anger,
disagreements and so on. Diagnose them and do
whatever you can to expel these negative emotions
and behaviors from your life. It’s better to handle
problems as they come, instead of piling them up
and solving them in one fell swoop.
#3 Weigh the pros and cons . See which list is
longer and you will be able to think a lot clearer.
The pros will usually outweigh the cons, making it
clear why you are with your partner. If by some
chance the cons list is longer or more significant
than the pros list, then it may be time to consider
ending the relationship.
#4 Don’t be afraid to change. Whether you are
going through your first rough patch or the
hundredth, there is no denying that something has
to change if you want things to improve. Do not be
afraid to change if you have to. Sure, many people
will tell you that you should never change who you
are for someone else, but what is wrong with
tweaking your attitude to be more tolerant, patient,
kind and loving? Absolutely nothing! Hence do not
be afraid to change for the better.
#5 Get some help. If you and your partner have hit
a rough patch and do not know what to do next,
there is no shame in reaching out for help. Speak
to a marriage therapist, couples counselor or to a
close friend. Getting input from an unbiased third
party will do wonders for your relationship.
Sometimes, all you need to get through a difficult
time is someone else’s opinion and advice on what
to do next.
#6 Strive for the same thing. There is a saying
stating that the key to a happy relationship is not
to look at each other but to look in the same
direction. A good reason why your relationship has
hit a rough patch is because both of you are not
working towards the same goals. Sit down with
your partner and have a serious discussion on
what both of you want. Come up with a one-year
plan, 5-year plan, 10-year plan and so on, and
whatever it is, do it together.
#7 Compromise often. Ask anyone who has ever
been in a long term relationship and they will tell
you that plenty of compromise and sacrifice are
involved. Making your partner happy sometimes
comes at your expense and you have to be
prepared to give up certain things for the overall
health of the relationship.
The golden rule is to compromise often, even if it
means going somewhere or doing something that
you never imagined yourself doing. Whether it is
something massive like relocating to another
country to support your husband’s career or
taking your wife to the ballet on her birthday, these
are just some of the things that you have to do to
maintain the happiness in your relationship.
#8 Look for the silver lining. Getting through a
rough patch in your relationship is no easy feat if
you are constantly negative. How you handle what
is happening now will affect the situation’s
outcome. If you cannot see the positivity in the
situation, things will never improve.
Sure, it may be hard to look for the silver lining
during such a dark hour, but if you want to get
through it with your relationship intact, you must
try your very best. For example, you should look
at rough patches as learning experiences and
opportunities to fix what is broken, so that you
need not deal with the same problem in the future.
#9 Look back at the good times. Think of doing
this as a reminder of why you’re still holding on
after all this time. Getting nostalgic will lead to
other positive emotions such as appreciation,
happiness, love and most importantly, the will to
fight to keep the relationship alive. Keep reminding
yourself that things were not always bad and you
will be just fine.
#10 Be grateful. Once you are grateful for what you
have, you will find that things are not so bad after
all. Being grateful will not only help you get
through a rough patch, it will also give you the
strength to push through and to be a better
partner. Once you see all the wonderful things that
your loved one can offer you, you will do your very
best to reciprocate, and that’s when things will
start getting better.
A rough patch is not a death sentence. Rather,
it’s a learning experience that makes couples
stronger. Once you deal with these issues, you
will come out with a stronger bond that only
adversity can foster.